Fetish, FemDom, FinDom, and your mental health.
This post has been updated, the previous version became mangled somewhat when copied into WordPress.
This week’s post is a little different. I am a fetishist in my day to day life, and in the past I have struggled getting the balance right that suits me. Note that I said the balance that suits me, not you. Everyone’s balance is different, as some may surely feel a 24/7 relationship is right for them, some only want to do it in the bedroom, and some occasionally want to jerk off with fetish porn in the background. All that is perfectly fine if you know the balance that works for you.
Aside from FemDom, I have hobbies and other businesses, this allows me the balance I need, and it stretches more of my brain. I feel more fulfilled when my fetish life is balanced with non-fetish activities. my mental health is better, and I enjoy what I’m doing more. Granted, there are some weeks that are more fetish heavy, and some where it’s non-existent, but that works for me.
How does this impact your mental-health?
Before I get going, do not misunderstand me. I will drain your wallet with a gleeful smile, tell you to beat your balls black and blue, and stick many oddities in your orifices, however not at the sacrifice of your mental health.
You’re supposed to enjoy fetish, not let it drive you to the brink of destruction, whether that’s emotionally, physically, or financially. You have to be responsible for your own sexual exploits, and fetishes. Think of it like dirty talk, we know the words – and yes, sometimes the actions that will get you off, but are we suggesting you go out and lick the floor if you’re immunocompromised, no. Be an adult, know your limits, and don’t indulge in actions that will harm you. For example, if you have bladder problems do not partake in my toilet humiliation clips, and if you have problems with certain words within the realms of humiliation, do not buy humiliation clips, instead order a humiliation custom without those words.
I am not responsible for what to do once I’ve released the content out into the World Wide Web, you have to take personal responsibility, and though I know it’s hard – you have to be a grown-up and think with your brain, not your dick!
After-care for your mental health.
At the end of the day I’m no stranger to the acts I’m doing. They are painful, humiliating, and in some clip categories ‘verbally abusive’. That’s why there is after-care. Being predominantly an online dominatrix means after-care is a little different. I do have a clip that is after-care based, to reinforce the notion that it’s okay – it’s your fetish, but I can’t do a lot from behind a computer screen, unless I’m training you. I can’t give you the human contact you get from an in person session. So, you have to be a responsible adult, and know that if you carry out certain actions you’ll be able to manage yourself after them.
I do have the odd submissive I will take through the necessary steps for their after-care, but that’s because I’ve known them for a long time, or as mentioned I am personally training them.
For a lot of my online sessions, I don’t give it too much thought about after-care or the like, because I can’t. I talk to many clients throughout the course of the day, and they (aka you) have to be responsible for their own care. I also expect them to know their limits, because you should never session whether in person or online with out knowing your limits. Look, I even made a video on it to help you, aren’t I kind.
At the end of the day, it’s a fetish, it’s sexual … it’s a construct. I’m not your babysitter, and I’m not a mind reader – though I am exceptionally good at mind fuck. You have to communicate with me, and you have to tell me your hard limits. You’re an adult, you to have to be responsible for your own self-care.
I wrote this post because I thought some of you might need reminding.
I’m not here to trigger you, or torment you in a way that lasts longer than the session (unless that’s my intention). I’m here to have fun, to be worshipped, and to drain your wallet dry.